


Smart Person

by Anonymous



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I Love Jenna Rolan, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecurity, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Jenna knows, logically, that she is not stupid.  But sometimes knowing something and believing it are two different things.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Jenna Rolan, Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell, Michael Mell & Jenna Rolan
Kudos: 12
Collections: Anonymous





	Smart Person

Jenna was a very introspective person. She may have spent all of her time obsessing over what was going on with other people’s lives, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t spend just as much time thinking about herself and trying to figure herself out.

She knew exactly why she did it. She was lonely. She wanted attention. The best way to do that was to be the girl who knew everything. That way people came to you when they had questions they wanted answers, and therefore, you were needed, even if just for a split second.

It wasn’t terribly shocking to her that this insecurity bled into other parts of her life too. She liked to be the girl who knew things. She liked to be the smart one. She really liked it when people looked at her when they had a question.

Why was this relevant to what was currently going on? Because Post-Squip, she was suddenly part of a huge friend group. Which was awesome! Don’t get her wrong, she loved all of her new friends! Chloe was… a new old friend but she was sassy and dramatic and also really trying hard to be a better person. Brooke was kindness incarnate, paired with Christine who was positivity incarnate. Jeremy was much more of a sweetheart and Rich was surprisingly more nerdy than Jenna had ever expected them to be. No doubt a side effect of the two of them now being squipless. Jake was just as much of a purehearted doofus as ever. And Michael—

Michael was her problem.

That sounded mean. That sounded so mean. But Michael Mell appeared in all his 90s-retro-incarnate glory, coupled with his knowledge of gaming and random documentary facts, none of which Jenna knew anything about, and he… made her feel small. And insignificant. Again.

But he was nice, he was so nice! He was caring, and supportive, and obviously an amazing friend if he stuck by Jeremy after everything.

She just did her best to stay away from him most of the time. And seeing as Michael did his best to stay away from most of them too, there wasn’t really a problem.

Until Jeremy had to invite her over.

“You know, my Squip kind of told me you’re… lonely, so.” He kicked at the ground while staring at his shoes instead of looking up at Jenna, who was taking her backpack out of her locker. “I was wondering if you wanted to come play video games with me and Michael.”

Great. All her insecurities had been laid out to Jeremy Heere via that stupid tic tac. Well, to be fair, that wasn’t exactly Jeremy’s fault. It’s not like he’d asked for this. Well, he sort of had, but… whatever. Either way, it probably took him a lot of courage to come and ask, given how anxious he was about everything involving the Squip, so she didn’t want to stomp all over his gained confidence and leave him in a bad place.

“Sure, okay,” she said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “When did you want to go?”

“Oh, uh.” Jeremy’s face was starting to turn red. “I was thinking now. Is that… not a good time? You know what, that’s too late notice, I’ll just—”

“Now’s fine,” Jenna cut him off quickly. “As long as one of you can give me a ride.”

Jeremy smiled a little bigger. “Yeah, Michael has a car. He was going to drive me home anyway.”

“Okay. Uh, does he know I’m coming?”

“I might have been about to ask him?” Jeremy said, as he went bright red again.

Oh fuck, Jeremy. “Okay,” Jenna sighed, and she fell into step beside Jeremy as they both walked out the front door of the school. Michael was waiting outside close to the front next to an old beat up car.

“Hey, Michael,” Jeremy said as they both approached. “Is it okay if Jenna comes with us today?”

“Jenna wants to play Apocalypse of the Damned?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you knew about that game.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jenna said, and kicked herself, because why did she say that? “I mean, I’ve never played it before, but uh.”

Luckily, Jeremy picked up the conversation before the world could continue observing Jenna’s train wreck in motion. “Cool! So is that okay?”

Michael gave Jenna a once-over that made her feel like she was under a microscope before he shrugged. “Yeah, alright.” He turned and pulled the back door of the car open as if he was her valet. “Welcome to my glorious PT cruiser.”

Of fucking course he knew about cars too. What didn’t he know.

Jenna climbed into the backseat as Jeremy went around the car and took his best-friend-earned place in shotgun.

They got to Jeremy’s house not ten minutes later, and Jeremy led the way to the basement, where two beanbags were sitting.

“Here, you can have mine,” Jeremy offered instantly, going over to grab a chair from the other side of the room.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jenna said. “Those are your guys,’ I wouldn’t—”

“Yeah, but you’re the guest,” Jeremy said, sitting down in the chair.

“So is Michael.”

“Michael practically lives here.”

“Indeed.” Michael plopped down in the other beanbag. “Why do you think I have my own bean bag?”

“I wasn’t aware that was an accomplishment,” Jenna muttered, rolling her eyes a little.

“Oh, it very much is. You have to be a level ten friend to unlock it. Luckily, by the time Jeremy bought his own, I was a level twelve.”

“Michael,” Jeremy said, giving Michael a playful whack on the back of the head.

“Is… that a thing you do?” Jenna asked. “Levels of friendship?”

Jeremy laughed a little. “No, Michael’s just being stupid.”

Michael gasped overdramatically. “How dare you! I am not stupid!”

Oh, Jenna was well aware.

Jeremy gave Michael one more playful shove before they turned the TV on which brought up Apocalypse of the Damned. “So how much do you know about this game, Jenna?” Michael asked.

“Oh, uh…” Fuck. “It’s an apocalypse? With… zombies and shit?”

Michael gave her a curious look. “I thought you said you knew about this game.”

“Uh, I—” See Jenna, this is what happens when you pointlessly lie for no reason! “I mean, I’ve heard of it, I don’t really…”

“Ah,” Michael said, nodding in understanding. “Okay, well, unfortunately you can only play with two players, so since we currently have the bean bags I volunteer us.”

“Wha— hey!” Jeremy called. “I gave Jenna the bean bag to be nice.”

“Jeremy, Jeremy. When are you going to learn, you should be an asshole at every opportunity. Here you go, Jenna.” Michael passed her the controller, which Jenna took hesitantly.

Michael hit “Start” on the game and they were plunged straight into Level 9.

Jenna, in case you were curious, died. A lot. Why the fuck was Michael starting them on level 9 anyway, she had never done this before, could he use a little common sense? What was he, stupid?

It was after the seventh time Jenna died that Michael finally drew attention to it by laughing a little. “And we’re down for the count again! Do you want some tips, Jenna?”

_ “No!” _ Jenna snapped, all but throwing the controller at Michael, who turned to her in surprise at the same time Jeremy did. “I can do this just fine, just—” She glared away before she started to cry like an idiot, like what always happened whenever she got angry.

“Woah, Jenna, it’s okay.” Jeremy put a hand on her shoulder and Jenna jerked away. “You’re starting at a hard level, it’s okay if you don’t get it right away.”

“Well then why didn’t you start at the beginning of the fucking game?!” Jenna snapped, throwing the controller down and standing up from the bean bag.

“Because if we did that Jeremy and I would lose all our progress.” Michael said, crossing his arms. “You don’t need to be rude about it.”

“I’m not— oh, fuck you, Mell!” Jenna stormed up the stairs as loudly as possible before slamming the basement door after her and proceeding to walk home from Jeremy’s house on the verge of tears.

…

Michael tried to approach her as she was leaving school tomorrow, and by then, Jenna had calmed down enough to realize she was being a jerk.

“Sorry I snapped at you,” she muttered, leaning back against the front wall.

“It’s… fine,” Michael said hesitantly. He sighed. “Look, Jeremy said I should talk to you. He thinks I did something to make you feel bad, unintentionally. So. Here I am.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Michael leaned back against the wall incredibly awkwardly. “Do you want to, uh, talk about it? Or something?”

Jenna crossed her arms and looked away. “You make me feel… stupid.”

Michael laughed. “What?”

Jenna glared at him.

Michael leaned back a little and seemed to realize Jenna was serious. “Wait, really? How in the world would I make you feel stupid? You’re the smartest person I know.”

“Yeah, but you know about all of this 90s retro shit that I don’t know anything about!” Jenna exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “And you don’t even flaunt your knowledge or anything, but I just— I’m supposed to be the girl who knows everything, but you know more than I do, so.”

Jenna bit her lip and waited for Michael to say something back.

“Okay,” Michael said slowly. “But just in like, that one particular area, Jenna. You know more than me in about a million other areas.”

“Yeah, but that’s your thing. So how am I supposed to be friends with you if I don’t know anything about any of that stuff?”

“Well,” Michael said slowly. “I can always teach you. But you know you don’t have to know  _ everything, _ right? You can not know anything about one topic and still be a smart person.”

“I know. Logically, I know that. My brain is just being—” Jenna cut herself off.

Michael was quiet for another moment. “Jenna,” he said softly. “You know you’re worth more than the things you know, right?”

Jenna didn’t reply to that at first either. “Logically,” she muttered finally.

They were both quiet again.

“Would you like to come over and watch me and Jeremy play AotD for a little so you get a feel for how it works before you try it again?”

Jenna glanced over at Michael and smiled, just a little. “That would be nice,” she said.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I've never written a vent fic before, so I thought I'd give it a try, and it was surprisingly cathartic. Jenna seems like someone who would have a lot of my own insecurities, so here I am. Making her feel bad because I feel bad tonight. Sorry, Jenna.


End file.
